Black Males & Suicide: When Too Much Becomes Too Much

I wanted to briefly shed light on a serious issue affecting our communities, especially for those who may be dealing with depression and or suicidal thoughts or you know someone who is dealing with it themselves.

Suicide is increasing rapidly among young, black males stemming from severe depression, behavior problems and even mental illness. Many times the signs go unnoticed because people lack the education and knowledge about mental illness or they refuse to believe it’s something “we” deal with as a people. It is prevalent that mental-health and mental-health treatment is so stigmatized within the African-American community but why? This negative stigma needs to cease immediately. One should not be stigmatized for deciding to reach out for help by seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist but rather be encouraged to take proactive measures in getting help and support. It is sad to think that therapy is something looked at as being a “white thing” within our communities, or you have to be weak or crazy to want to see a psychiatrist – People please open your minds. It is so disheartening to see the age of young males committing suicide become younger and younger to the point where it’s children taking their own lives. I know it may seem difficult for us as black men, or young black men to turn to someone when we’re facing adversity, and therefore we tend to bottle up all our feelings and emotions until we get to a point where it’s too much to handle, and we explode. Know that it doesn’t have to be that way, reach out to someone to talk to and seek help.

This issue of suicide hits home with me personally stemming from depression which is something I dealt with for quite some time, years as a matter of fact. It came a time in my life where I felt like giving up, I felt like life wasn’t worth living and there was no need for me to go on. I felt like I didn’t have anyone to turn to, no were to go, no hope, I was at my wits end, so my only outlet was ending my life, suicide. At that moment in time I didn’t realize that there were many other outlets I could have chosen to take but there was. We sometimes get so bogged down with letting our life stresses overtake our life blessings, but in the end, we fail to realize that our life blessings outweigh the stresses. We don’t see that when we’re in the middle of what we consider to be, the end all be all position in life thinking and believing that things will never change but they will. Faith has gotten me this far, and it will lead me further. Yes I still battle depression but I am now able to cope and manage it differently than before being that I finally reached out for help.

If you or anyone you know had suicidal thoughts in the past, or have been thinking about suicide for any reason please get help, please know that you’re not alone and it WILL get better. There are resources and other outlets available for you to utilize.

Here is a link for the Suicide Resource Prevention Center (SPRC)for ANYONE who has been having suicidal thoughts and need someone to reach out to.

In addition to available resources, this site SAVE provides you with awareness of knowing the warning signs of suicide.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Friend In Deed

Look back on your middle and high school years, and remember how cool you thought it was to have a lot of friends? You felt like you were it knowing everyone from the nerds, class clowns, varsity football & basketball players, cheerleaders, class president, best dressed crew, upper-classman and so on? It was nothing more gratifying than feeling like the “popular” guy or girl in the school, the guy or girl who knew just about everyone, and everyone knew you or at least heard of who you were?

Remember having that clique or crew you rolled with every day in and out of school? You sat on the school bus together, posted up by the lockers together, sat at the cafeteria lunch tables together, walked the halls together, skipped classes together, talked about people together and even played hooky together, remember? To this day I still roll with the same crew even though we’re in different places in our lives. We all still keep in touch, connect with each other when possible, and share and value the same friendship and relationship we had first established with each other over the years.

Personally looking back on my middle and high school years, I can truly say that I was that guy- juvenile, clueless, naïve, immature, irresponsible, and silly like so many others who thought it was cool to know everyone, and consider everyone to be a friend which was typical at that age.

At the time I didn’t realize that some “friends” or so-called friends wouldn’t be around forever because I was so young, but now as a grown, mature adult I can say that I outgrew some of those friends and more than likely some of those friends outgrew me which is perfectly fine. You will have some friends who will come into your life temporarily for a reason or purpose but once that purpose is fulfilled they’re gone with the wind. Don’t fret, it’s cool- these friends and lost friendships will be re-established in time.

Now, I can say that the number of friends that have always been there for me despite our distance and location is few. These are the people who have been there for me when I was down and out, experiencing tough times, and going through hell. Take a look for yourself, think about times or a particular situation in your life where you were going through something serious, so serious that you didn’t know if you were coming or going. Look around, and see who was there for you at the drop of a dime. Who picked up the phone when you called at 1, 2, or 3 o’clock in the morning angry, confused, upset, yelling, and venting? Even if you weren’t upset but just needed someone to confide in, talk to and hear you out, who was there? These are the friends who will step out of their own comfort zone to help you and make sure you’re alright. These are the friends who will give it to you like it is truthfully and honest, they will protect you, get angry for you, laugh, and even shed a few tears with you. These friends are like an espousal system to you; they listen and give you advice that is only best for you. They add quality to your life and to others around you. These are the friends who never change but rather remain true to you and themselves no matter what comes their way. They remain loyal and have your back even when others begin to turn their backs on you.

Ascertain your REAL AND TRUE FRIENDS, who has been there for you despite the odds you faced aside from your family? Truth be told, you will realize how few real and true friends you really have.


"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." By, Anon.

Stop Hatin' - Less Competition More Support

Generally speaking- Why is it so hard for blacks (African Americans) to support one another? Why does it seem like we are always in competition with each other? Is it that hard for us to really back one another up or have each other’s back? Is it necessary to tear someone else down just so you can feel like you’re on top? I personally have no intricacy supporting my fellow brothas and sistas (or anyone for a matter of fact), especially if their doing something I find to be beneficial to them personally or someone else. It’s like we all want each other to make it, but on the flip side we want to be the first to make it **crabs in a barrel**. We need to stop holding one another down but instead lifting one another up and showing a little more support. Stop being so apprehensive and afraid of someone “getting ahead” before you do. Lose that mentality because it’s not a good look. There are too many “sectors” that continually widens the gap between all of us. Therefore, that should encourage us to go after what we want and encourage each other to do the same whether it be for; personal, business, educational, career, or spiritual gain and growth, know that we are worthy of having it and achieving it.
Spite, resentment, desire, greed, jealousy, hate, envy = WILL GET YOU NO WHERE but stuck in the same place you're at now with no growth. Stop wasting so much energy hating on the person “above” you, but instead support them, have their back, help lift them up. Their success can possibly be your success as well, you never know.

“I let no man drag me down so low as to make me hate him.” Booker T. Washington

“I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.” Booker T. Washington

“No one can degrade us except ourselves.” Booker T. Washington

This Is Why..

This is why some of us get a bad representation… Since when did asking for Child Support equal to getting beat down, punched 11 times and kicked? I personally do not have ANY respect for a man who puts his hands on a woman point blank (though some believe he was provoked). This is COMPLETE BUFFOONERY at its finest, and at the same time very disappointing. They are BOTH in the wrong, especially by putting an innocent child in the middle of it. Slapping and punching your childs father while dangling your crying baby in the other hand is uncalled for. If it was that serious, she the “mother” and I use that term loosely, should have handled the situation appropriately by taking it up with the courts.

*Shaking my head at both of them and ALL the people in the background who just stood there*

...I tried not to laugh ... I'm still shaking my head...

It's My Birthday & What...

What’s going on - I just wanted to come to you all real quick on some randomness and say, MY B’DAY WEEKEND OFFICIALLY STARTS TODAY!!

Monday April 6th is my Birthday (Shout out to ALL THE ARIES by the way..) and I’m getting the celebration started EARLY… Not that I have anything TOO exciting planned, but I will enjoy the weekend to the fullest. Last year I celebrated my B’day cooped up in the house with Ernest & Julio = a bottle of E&J drinking my problems away; how pathetic and a complete waste of what could have been a good birthday celebration. OH WELL, NOT THIS YEAR -it’s a New Year, New Age, and I’m feeling mighty good!
I’m geeked up for this weekend; it’s crazy because I never have been THIS excited to celebrate another year of turning/becoming old(er) but I am. I’m definitely thankful, grateful, and fortunate to have lived to see yet, another year. I’m healthy, I’m breathing, I still have all 10 fingers and 10 toes, I still have both eyes, I STILL HAVE LIFE and If that’s not something to celebrate about then I don’t know what is!

This will most definitely be an eventful weekend, I promise not to get into TOO much trouble. A little trouble but not TOO much trouble… I will most definitely be on my “Grown Man Status” this weekend so we’ll see…..

That’s all, nothing more to say, I’m gone!!

Can A Brotha' Get A Break?!??!

This is a complete VENT of: frustration, aggravation, annoyance AND irritation. I’m sure at some point in your residential life you had to deal with noisy neighbors, or even maybe YOU were the noisy neighbor! At any rate, I have been living under - 2 noisy, disruptive, disrespectful, inconsiderate, off-the wall, party throwing insomniacs for 7 MONTHS!! It’s ridiculous, every other night it’s CONSTANT NOISE!!!!!!!
9, 10, 11 P.M. or 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 A.M. noise, noise, noise…. Can a brotha’ get a break???!??? One night it’s Salsa night with the music BLASTING, another night it’s Home Renovation night with constant BANGING and THUMPING on the walls AND floor with hammers and whatever else they decide to use as a tool. (I’m pretty sure there are no scheduled maintenance work orders at 2 in the morning – I mean seriously) Other nights it’s LA Fitness or Bally’s night, screw going to the gym let’s just bring the gym here on the 2nd floor of a residential apartment. NOT PRIVATE but residential, inhabited, populated, peopled, colonized and all the other adjectives that follows. Running laps around the apartment, jumping up and down, and stomping on the floor UGH!!! OH and let’s not forget Sorority and Fraternity night, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE… Screaming, yelling, 15 to 20 people running around the apartment, up and down the stairs, or squeezed outside onto the patio that can barely hold 4 people comfortably let alone 15 or 20.
8 complaints put in to the property manager, 8 calls to Sandy Springs police and 5 knocks at their door personally, and STILL noise, noise, noise…. It has become so bad Sandy Springs Police stopped showing up when called because they know it’s no use. Now when I go up there and spazz out and end up catching a case we will see who shows up then!!
I’m trying NOT to lay hands on anyone, LORD KNOWS I’m trying. All the counting to 3, taking deep breaths in and out, walking out side for fresh air, balling up my fists tightly while huffing and puffing to calm down is no longer working!! THESE CALMING METHODS ARE NO LONGER WORKING PEOPLE – I had it, I had enough!!!

Hopefully my next blog won’t be about me getting locked up in Fulton County Jail for catching an assault case while having to call on someone to bail me out…. I’m trying soooooo hard!!

Can a brotha' just get a break??!??? PLEASE!?!?!